Kitchen Blacklist

I’m not a grudging person – but there can come a time when something in the kitchen has gone too far, too many times.

So, to my kitchen blacklist goes
Carolyn Humphries’ student recipe books.

The first offense was suggesting that a completely raw portion of chicken would be fully cooked by the microwave in only 5min plus 5min resting time.   The dangers of raw chicken are far too serious to be taken that lightly.  Bear in mind that the typical student microwave is old, second-hand (if not more), frequently used, and only about 650W.

The second offense is the number of very odd recipes in the book – for example the “double tomato and ham soup”, made by pouring boiling water over a mix of diced tomato, ham chunks and tomato soup powder.  And there are numerous sick-making concoctions in the recipes for a hand-blender section.

Now, the third offense.  She suggests that one reduces a pan of stock down to the point where it fits in an ice-cube tray.  I’ve just tried it – for an hour I sat, waiting for this stock to reduce.  I go out of the room for a few short minutes…. and find the pan boiled dry and the kitchen full of smoke.  Very very surprised no fire alarm went off (what’s with that?).  I take blame for taking my eye off the boil.  But I’m something like 10 times more patient than most students I know.

Yes, a watched pot never boils, but it seems an unwatched pot never behaves.

If it was my pan, I’d throw it away and get a new one.  Unfortunately, the pan belongs to the halls, so I had to spend another hour scrubbing off the black chicken-stock burn-y stuff.   Told you I was patient.

What have we learned?
a) Don’t leave the kitchen while cooking.
b) Just buy the stock/stock-cubes/stock-powder
c) Don’t buy those books.